Tomorrow is Canada’s birthday! In the spirit of that, I googled “Canada is better” and this is the funny list I found …
10. Our national bird is tastier than yours.
9. We know the secret to feeling rich — turn all your currency into gold-coloured coins!
8. Our national flag is a leaf and two bars — something you can find in any town we have, too.
7. We have more trees than we have McDonalds. And more hockey rinks than Wal-Marts. And more donuts than cops.
6. Our annual military budget is approximately the same price as Jenna Bush’s wedding.
5. One end of us looks to Europe, the other end to the Pacific Rim. And if you go to the middle of our country, you can get both pyrogies AND sushi at the food court!
4. Our movies have more subtitles and boobies — AND the government pays you to make them!
3. We have a monarch, which is kind of like when your parents go away and leave your Grandma in charge.
2. If you make fun of us, we make you a citizen. And give you a job at the CBC.
1. If we had a woman and a black man running for office, we’d all vote for the gay Guatemalan-Scottish-First Nations-Tibetan monk performance artist with the limp.